I think I can confidently say that Long Distance Relationship is an area I have profound knowledge about. I was in one and I am in one. Some people even say that I love LDRs and cannot handle a relationship without distance. These are most certainly not true. What is true however is that, I DO NOT SEE DISTANCE AS A RELATIONSHIP DEAL BREAKER. I just don’t think distance is a good enough reason to avoid exploring the potentials of a blissful relationship. What I do think is that LDRs are extremely challenging and require a lot more effort that the traditional relationships and I also do believe that the distance should only be temporary, the duration of which depends on the individuals involve.
Whilst they are challenging, it is very possible to have a very healthy LDR. In my opinion, three elements are essential to achieve this:
I will only touch on the communication this time although its completely impossible to isolate one from the other. It is impossible to be successful in an LDR without effective communication. Here’s a text I received this morning from a friend in an LDR:
‘3 phones, skype, bbm, calls, email, fb, ipad, tablet, whatsapp……why is communication feeling so hard and difficult’
The answer is simple. Because there is little or no interest in communication. There can only be effective communication if both parties are willing and ready to give in the time, effort and sometime money involved to keep things going. You will only be willing if you have the interest not only in the person or the relationship but also in making the it all work and the interest stems from love.
I am always in constant communication with my boyfriend. We say our good mornings and good nights, we update each other constantly, we check on each other frequently as the day goes by all thanks to technology ofcourse :). People think its an obsession. It’s not, we have only identiified that this keeps our relationship healthy, fresh, exciting and manageable.
Also noteworthy is the fact that some people are better communicators than others and this can often result in conflicts arising. In an LDR, u need to identify who the weaker communicator is and help them relentlessly to get to the level of communication at which you are confortable. Once again, non of these will be possible if the other person is not interested. I cannot stress enough the importance of both parties being equally interested in making the relationship work.
This will be it for now. I really enjoyed writing this up and will like to delve into other LDR topics in the future. Communicating is difficult, ask any married couple they will tell you. It is even more difficult in a LDR, but it is possible so please keep working on it.
share your opinions too